Darkness should be acknowledged to appreciate the sunshine. Up to what level we could go with darkness.? Where our own shadow disappears.
I follow a girl how lived in the dark side of the spectrum; She seams dark, bright big eyes and visible scars. I wanted to hold her hands to have a deep glance. In seconds, she ran ahead. I was curious to know her who was she in a remote place nobody would come. I walked towards her.
I found her in the distance flying high on the swing. As I walked near her, she had a broad smile on her face. Her lips were dry; eyes were bright, the look was pale. She looked like a dazzling lonely dark angel to me. I went a little more front to acknowledge her. As I asked her what happened? Why are you smiling and why you in a dark place like this?
She laughed at me; I was a little annoyed. But she answered the same reason yours in the dark. But I told her I came following you. She smiled, I continued, what are these scars and why your face and lips are dry and pale? She took a long breath seeing herself. She answered.
I am not running out of food or water. If you see me in brightness, you will never recognise me that is my body. But what your seeing now is my soul who ran out of love. Hence I look pale and dry.
And these scars are returning gift from the people who didn’t love me. I know the expectation is wrong; But when we love we feed ourselves. But when we are loved, we feed our soul and it blossom like a flower.
We humans filled with flaws and mistakes which makes us humans. Some acknowledge it, and some don’t. I have been with people where they rejected me for being with flaws. I asked What flaws are.? She replied.
Sometimes I use to get depressed and annoyed; Which people didn’t like or understood. Nobody wants a broken soul which has ugly side pain, emotions, sad part. They couldn’t understand. Hence looking for a loop to avoid. They loved the skin, not the inner soul. They zipped me never allowed to open.
They wanted perfect happy going woman rather than broken glass to escape from reality(of they sadness). I showed up to be secure and comfortable as required.
I forgave myself, trying to live for the movement was exhausted trying to keep on track. I was alone in relationships, and If I didn’t take effort, relationships. I stopped my approach. It was a one-way show for me, as I raised any doubts. They felt offended; my question was hurting they ego which made them mad over me.
I was alone, and the relationship was hard, raising one side, made me vulnerable towards searching love in all wrong people, I realised, In life parents are an essential part; as they save us from the unwanted wrong side of the world protecting us inside them. Many people don’t know how fortunate they are having them or one lovable person living with them helping in all side of life.
I stood with none. The scars are unhealed. I felt brightness was consuming me; People were so busy concluding without asking the question WHY AND UNDERSTANDING the facts. Never appreciated. Always mocked with silence.
It was time for me to save myself, I cut all the contacts left that place where I could not heal. I came here none follow, even my shadow. Scars don’t hurt much now. The way it did around people. Here I found peace, I talk to self and acknowledging my flaws. I spend most of the time with myself she said in a deeper voice. She smiled and disappeared.
She was healing in darkness.