Confused Her

Confused Her learnt the hard way that life is meant to be nothing but suffering from one problem to another. She took a stand thinking “What is going to blow her back to hell”. The heart was on fire burning, which changed into a fleshy red colour.

While checking the status of her brain, It beeped with Nill Signal as if she was running out of life with no response. Inner-Self she felt shabby with torn up heart and wearing a rug and torn clothing.

To show herself for another world she was a very high maintenance person with branded clothes and jewellery. There was no doubt people thought her Richie rich with no responsibilities.

Not caring about the outside world, As she knew the outside world will only talk doing nothing. As she doesn’t save herself no one else is going to do. Questions popped up? If one side is fixed another side of water pipe gushes out with a problem wandering this is life, and there is no escape plan.

She approached her bed, telling herself ” Its probably as long as it took me to learn the difference between solitude and loneliness”.

As the pain of her heart was killing her still wondering as she could not collect her thoughts thinking “When were the last times he was happy?” The problem with hearts is that we get used to having them, capable of loving too hard and capable of caring.

Asking We get used to loving the same old world in the same old way, and we couldn’t step out to its door and past the iron wall of loneliness that surrounds them.

If truth be told, I’m a woman born to love and to be loved, and yet, I’m alone.

I am a woman who cries in the middle of the night until the birds of dawn pick away the debris of darkness, echoing my pain and screaming someone’s name.

I am a woman who often becomes bored with life and finds it very difficult to get up for work in the morning.

I am a woman who, more often than not, has a bad hair day, who looks in the mirror and keeps wondering why I couldn’t drag myself to a salon.

I am a woman who spends much of my life in the company of my own.

I am a woman who smiles to cover up the pain, emptiness, and sadness.

I am a woman who lies about being okay.

I am a woman who wishes to stand outside my own life and to finally reveal its marvellous truth and see the old a new.

To close my eyes one night, long enough to erase the accustomed scene deep within me and realise I’m not in the same place anymore; to stand outside the wall,

I have built in my life to protect me; to allow someone to touch and fill my broken heart with His love and peace.

Without getting exhausted. Holding Our own happiness. Finding inner peace. Because it is a waste of a fantastic gift of life, It has been this way so that I could know and value of my life. And so, If everything comes easy or free, there is no value of being human.

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