Twenty-Five Year ago, I continued to live my Life which no one understood or understand!!

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Twenty-Five years ago there was a girl who was ready to go to bed as one more normal day never Imaging what the shit is going to come in 1992. She was the free-spirited girl who never brother what she has to do, badly with her studies. Always outlasted playing and wandering around with her grown-up friends.  She was not a homely kid, she hated laying back at home even for an hour.Preferred playing out and comprehensively extrovert.

She was pampered by her grandparents. She was very spontaneous falling in love with people. Whichever relative home she uses to visit always cried going back to her own home. Her mother always had a tough time to get her home.  Her parents were really annoyed with her as she stood as a brat, bad at studies, playing out, over loving people. Till date, she over love people and same people come nicely and stab her with silence and quiet and until this day she follows her heart never stopped loving even which painful life.

For 9 years she made her parents stand at school with hell lot of complaints. She made sure her father anger was for few minutes. And kick start her brat-hood Sometimes ending up getting a beating for her stubbornness of wild playing but loved by her all relatives. THAT WAS ONLY THING SHE WANTED BEING LOVED. but never being a good girl.  This below pic explains how out of the world she was playful. which was going to crash after 1992-Sep-17 !!

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Her grandfather died, she loved him a lot.  After cemetery him as per Hindu culture. There was an astrologer called to check the timing of her grandfather’s death timing. And then an old man showed up old with completely gray hairs. she sat with her father in a playful mood, did not understand what they were talking about. But one sentence was tattooed in her brain 2 more people are going to die after her grandfather’s death.

Most of the time till day her instinct was honest to her. But she overlooked on it.  She was too spontaneous by nature. Never think about future where it would lead her into. Her father suddenly took a break from his job where he was supposed to travel to Europe countries. As he was Merchant Navy officer. He canceled his schedule backed off and came home. She was delighted her father was home. Since she uses to get only 2-3 months a year spending time with his family and rest on Ocean.

Her father knew having a vision he will be going away, In that time he always called her and told: “take care of yourself and your sister”. This was the triggering point between her parents which her mother also knew something is going to happen. But her mother did not want her kid to know about it.

The day came when she went for her sleep with her sister. And her father was late from outside where her mother was waiting for him to complete both of them dinner. As he walked in late Both of them were talking as the girl could not sleep that night. Suddenly she heard a blast from kitchen blowing fire outside.

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This woke her up the side and down. She woke up with terror walking towards the light. And she heard the scream from the fire get out. She did not realize what is going on with her. But that time she opens the door called entire colony people. Her mother was caught in life, her father went to save her mom. But unfortunately, both were on fire.

In seconds, everything changed people came helping called up ambulance police was called. SHE DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON. SHE STOOD IN A CORNER THINKING BLANK. She stood in darkness, but she had a phobia over darkness. But that day she did not realize where she was standing.

HER LIFE REGRET WAS WHEN HER MOTHER CALLED HER. She was so scared to see her. She refused to see her mom. BUT SILLY girl did not know to realize that was lifetime last chance to see her mother. As hearing the raw sound of her parents in a fire and when they were out. But saw her father was shouting with pain and getting to the ambulance. Too scared to see them. Still, Now I REGRET FEELING THAT PAIN. But was not allowed later to see them at all.

Life was going to be upside down for her and a struggle to survive, that strom started taking shape and it’s still in shape. But see I am alive to write my parents story. Both her parents died within 2 days with 80% burnt. She was confused. She already knew her parents were no more. She was taken with her father’s mother and relatives. When her relatives relived they parents were no more she did not react. She was normal because did not know how to create at that age.

From that day till date her life was not the same, She lost interest in playing stayed back at home and started learning household work. And started taking her of her family by 13 yrs old with all household work cooking washing everything.

Her aunt’s and her grandmother took care of her schooling educating. But inside she was too lonely inside. But she knew no one can take care of her as her aunts did for they kids. I was outcasted. All her friends use to tell about her mother cooking and waiting for the daughters. I always wished. But it was an only painful dream. From her family she was always degraded slapped not being active, bad dressing sense, having messy hairs and whatever she did she was worthless. But she was fascinating that her parents are going to come back as there are hiding somewhere.  

Still, she is alive standing alone without anybody’s support. She still stays inside me. By default her character she was very fond of people but extremely choosy with people, Not with all she would blend talking only a few of them, whom she used to think right from her end and talking endlessly with only expectation was to be loved and understood. With that handfull of people also she was in love unconditionally.  But those few also did not tell anytime till date “I AM THERE WITH YOU DONT WORRY.” Now after these traumatic years, she got stronger and learned to live alone and making her loneliness with completely introvert.

I am happy my parents died together. Since there were deeply in love. But I love them and miss them until my last breath. Every time it was hope I could have them. Now People think it’s 25 yrs what makes a difference?? But it hurts when you don’t have anybody, ignored, not an important person in anybody’s life. I Smile, but the path was horrible every step was a mental struggle.

Happy 25 th death anniversary!! I Love drakness now.

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