Until 30 years old I did not know what I really wanted or do with my life. Confused wandering in life with people around me kept me on the toe which was totally a bull shit. There were just in need of some help I was the trump card for them. Which I did not understand their motives or what I really want. My father was in Indian Merchant Navy. In my entire family, he was the only person to travel entire world due to his job pattern.
I had a royal life until my parents and my grandpa passed away. From that days I did not have any goal in my life. As growing older in teen. I fall in love with the idea of love it was magical word love. In fact, I hate studies like my father. But still, I made decent ranks. But I just dreamed about having a loving partner as a husband who would know me and have a happy family forever. I was always fascinated with Fairy Tales which was deeply rooted inside my mind.
So that came shattering when I forcibly got married at the age of 19 and had a baby in 9 months. Things changed my son was there I thought to keep myself as a housewife taking care of my son. Because I did not want to go out and work. Which was also a failure. In-Law forced me to work. this forced me to get ditch with my son little by little. I started with my work which was not even my dream or I thought of it. In fact, I did not have any dream to have a job on this platform or that. Finally, my friend suggested getting into IT Linux field. I did as still I was not sure. As far as was earning money. it was fine with me.
Later family life fallen apart was out. meanwhile rescission period went jobless for 7 months. Was out without a job and any money. But still had friends to help me out. Finally got a job but still was not so good at my work, to be honest. Still, confusion covered over me, looking for someone to love, taking care of son and a sibling was my response. Taking care of these things my brain was running out of space to even breathe. Go ethic.
Later, Son decided to live with son and sibling was married. I was left alone to think what I want in my life. Then I started to think what if I go outside the country to see the different place which was just a thought. But that also took back seat when I was in a dilemma where to go out or find a guy again getting married to settle down. I was fine playing behind.
But inner core was always getting fascinated with outer world and travel. By that time I was already Bi-polar and depression patient. Started struggling within my thoughts, past, pain all mixed up without any idea. Even thou I was in IT industry for 10 + years I was not appreciated for any of my hard work. Even thou many knew that I did a hard work. I started working more and more so I could stay away from anti-dep. But my of my work was not valued. I did not think much about it.
Then later I reduced my work and joined photography. I fell in love with it. I was amazed seeing smaller un-noticed things via the lens. I super existed meanwhile surprising I was appreciated for my work. Which dragged me more inside it. I LOVE EVERY MINITUE WHEN I AM WITH MY CAMERA.
In childhood or work in office or homemaker taking care of others, I was never appreciated whatever I did for others I worked. I thought I was always useless. Still, I remember when one of my uncle’s got the camera. He never allowed me to touch me since he felt I was useless and at another end, I had my first cousin with the same age. She was appreciated for all her works. Then I did not get a point.
Now I know it was rich my cousin was and I was considered to be dumb useless as usual. Because of this hit. when I had a camera in my hand I was so happy I did well in photography and finally, in my life, someone appreciated my work. In Personal life was doomed. When I saw the light in photography and decided to travel.
The life took a turn and I started my blog traveling and finally, I decided to be a photographer. But I did not know one hidden truth: “THAT MY FATHER LOVED TRAVELLING AND HE WAS VERY MUCH IN PHOTOGRAPHY” when my other cousin relieved it I was like oh shit. I am best at the thing which is genetic, it’s my father’s dream which was supposed to carry.
Which and where I realized this is my dream, And I am working on it.
Here I want to tell people and everyone, you will have one click in your life which will reveal you real dreams, hold it and never leave it. That is the path your born and destined to GRAB IT. when a loser like me can do, Everyone can do it.
Think about it. Once you’re in nothing can be stopped. Give up the fear, what others would think or do. whether you win or fail. But you know what it is all about. it’s not able losing always it about how much more you should work hard for next try. FEAR IS An ILLUSION AND COWARD REASON FOR NOT TRYING OR GIVING A CHANCE.