I was always wondering till last night how the family is going feel like? It’s was almost any decade when I was kicked out of my husband’s house. I was forced to leave my son at his father’s place. And I walked out with a bag of clothes confused nothing related to do. Counting on with a single friend. No parents, Couldn’t hold family support on my side. Since I was on the bad side having an affair outside So not interested in sex with my physical and mental abusing husband. Got bullied maximum as much as possible during that process.
As a child even thou getting parentless. I had an upper hand in my family as most loud voice kid and loved by them for my honestly than my sister sibling. She was a kind of rude selfish in her own terms which even I did not acknowledge it. After getting out of the house, I got hell thrashing from family. As a married woman, I was supposed to get with husband no matter how bad was he, Giving up son as a mother over husband was a very big deal for the entire family, a society which affected me. I tried once giving a change walking back to husband place.
I was there for 2-3 days hardly, I was jobless taking care of son, husband, sick mother-in-law. But one second day I realised it’s not going to work. Luckily I did not vacate the home which was staying alone. I was getting suffocated heart told something was wrong. I walked out. I was so bad I could not convince my heart to stay back no matter it was my duty as a mother, And entire family was following this tradition. But the fact was I never wanted to get back to that place in my heart. Somewhere in my life, I had hard burned within “Always listen to your heart” which I do till now.
Later my son chose to go with father, And I stopped talking him own son after coming to know he was getting influence of lies avoiding me. I could not get hold of him and tie my professional life with it. I LET GO HIM. I did leave at 2008, now it’s 2017 almost ten years, I had huge insults, boycott from entire life. Like I was the Hot Topic, People started judging me. Tags names blah blah blah. Friends disapproved.
But it was no turning back, I moved with my life, stopped all contact with my family, handled sisters marriage which was another divorce spent over my capabilities. But one thing I had in myself never forgot the people who helped you. I never stopped seeing my father sister and their kids. They started taking me the way I am my cousin was my root help. she stood with me as a rock. we both cousins were born with 11 days differents. And the funny part was my mom and my aunt was besties. Like us.
Meanwhile, I jumped in depression which was very difficult pass each day. I gave my best shot for suicide failed. Started living when my sister dumped me with her second marriage for new cash of money. I stood still, I gave my best responsibilities towards my aunt’s family my cousin and her brother. I fought for them. I tend to take the risk . No matter what was the cost or issue. My Aunt was is part of my love, we have unconditional love towards each other. It took 9 years today for them to take the way I am single. And me to understand the family required. Once I was mentally sick I stopped all contacts from my family members distanced myself completely. As per Society, i was a slut.
In these years, I learnt everyone had they own pain troubles and problems, But I was lucky enough with my cousins in my place and the cousin with whom I shared all my secrets. Even with my dramas, They pulled me back, made me feel I am special for them. Since last night I was worried to go back to my roots and see all the people like my sister I never want see her face, X husband, watching my son without a mother or had a sacredness I was not part of these people and society.
But today everything changed, when I saw these people everyone spoke to me or I went talking to them, People change and they started holding a mindset the way I am. I was so happy to see my son was so good taking up failures. Even thou I was not part of his life for so many years he had me side him. Suddenly I started feeling pity for my sister. I can’t reach a person how to hurt my soul. I am not GOD. I never force myself into anything. And my heart told No. I did not talk to her or see her kid or X-Husband.
But I gained my love with my family the way I am. I saw in each one eyes it ok the person I am, And they love me the way I am, After so many decades I found my love again. I am a same show-off pampered loud voice girl, Which my family hold great love toward me. Today when I hugged my cousins, My heartfelt I got the love and respect which I was looking for so many years.