It was one more struggling day, I was considering myself that I was reaching my peak point, Tired of most of the thing which was lost all most at that span of time in my life, That was when I decided to QUIT… All of a sudden I made a decision to quit my job, my relationship and finally my spirituality. I just wanted to quit my life. Since I felt I had nothing more to LOVE or being LOVED. In a search for LOVE in someone else!!
I was looking for a reason to die. where I felt life was falling apart and had nothing to live worthy or lose it. I was under the assumption that I lost everything thing family, Child, Parents, So called Husband, Sibbling, at last dramatic love failure, who just tore me apart. Every single relationship was a failure to me. And some social norms did not agree to it were I became a bitch according to it.
I started seeing a physiatrist , who was the only hope to understand me. The days passed with my struggle to sleep and waking up in the morning walking to my job.
The Job was the only thing in my life which I had, The group of friends circle reduced. Since they could not understand why I was acting wired sometimes whole night was passing with loud cry inside me, which had very loud sound no one could hear it. In that span of time, i tried to suicide a couple of time and went useless in it!!
Then I came across a person, who did not have any connecting than a stranger would have been in my life. He noticed my pain in my eyes And started showing me the world is not so bad. He and my Doctor played a major role in putting my life on tract, I started listening to them. Slowly converting into an individual. And to tell Hollywood movies played a major part in my view towards life in a different angle.
I was thought by these people and 2 of my special friends who did not have a magic stick in their hands. But had tolerance towards me to listen to all my nonsense meaningless talks and did not go negative or been judgemental with my thoughts!!
In this process I meant myself and came to know life is not so bad, Loving urself is not selfishness. There was nothing I owe them or they did. No blood relationship!!
But they stood with me like a stand. Now I am proud to tell myself I am strong Women. And I am alone but not lonely.
I am not sure how many people have lost everything in their lives, But still, there will be something special which no one can see apart from you(me). Just have to realize Life is not so bad. We are human’s. And giving time to someone is the precious gift can be stated.
Time is something always runs from our hand, Today we live and might disappear tomorrow somewhere else.
I would like to tell everyone DON’T QUIT OR USE “BUSY” word. The time your giving to someone is a part of your life, make is worthy.
Listen to the inner voices, It never goes wrong !!
As an atheist, I don’t believe in god, but I do believe in love and giving time to someone and listen to their heart broken stories. Even thou your not benefited. But it’s a great job no one else can do at that time when someone wants to cry!!
Dedication: Dr.Savithri, Sibu, Ajay, Divya